Here’s when you’re a tool:
You walk out to the car with your lady friend in tow. You go to one side, she goes to another. You hit the clicker, beep beep, you both get in, done.
Next time, try walking with her to her side hitting the clicker, and opening her door. Does she need her door opened? No. Is it in any way helpful? Nope. Is it the good thing to do for a girl who could probably get a way cooler dude than you? Yes.
P.S. While your at it, open all doors for all ladies. It’ll help mask your sub-par upbringing.
You're A Grown Man 
Your blog is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I told my friends I could write it, but it wouldn’t be as cool because I’m a lady and unwilling to swear. But you can because you’re a Grown Man. Thank you for the wisdom you are sharing with all the Little Boys I know.