go outside.

We’re coming up on a long weekend and, at this point in the week, I’m sure you’ve completely checked out and are planning your three-day nothing-fest.  Oh the places you will go!  Maybe you’ll have a big Saturday and parlay pancakes into an ice-chest full of back porch Miller Light and round third on an evening of on-line gaming.  Oh no, better yet, maybe you’ll get really active and work out that thumb, switching between Wimbledon and World Cup.  Man, the 4th of July’s gonna’ rule! I love independence!

http://www.nps.org

Guys, we’ve begun equating relaxation with inactivity.  We’ve lost touch with the Earth – our dominion, our home, and our sanctuary.  What we’ve done is sought out comfort at all costs and forgotten how good it feels have dirt in our hands, sun on our necks, and fresh air to breath.  It’s time to get back to the basics.

Here’s the homework:  This weekend, go outside.  For real, start planning something right now that will aid in reintroducing you to the Earth.  Maybe you could take a nice hike, kayak, or bike ride. Maybe you could go so far as to buy a cheap tent and spend a night outside (it’s called camping).  Whatever you do, go beyond working in the yard and find, at least, a semi-beautiful place and bask in it. And by bask, I mean get rid of the phone, sweat a little bit,  look/smell/touch things, and be present for whatever may present itself.  Your instincts will take over when you get there.

Now listen, I know you’ve got World Cup fever (when will this terrible event end!) and have been working hard.  I don’t want to guilt you into not enjoying your home and 97 inch TV.   What I want from you is balance.  A balance between TV and nature, air conditioning and photosynthesis, your natural habitat and the one you’re paying monthly on.

Grown Men, go outside.

Ask a Grown Man: Vol. II

Sit back, relax, here we go…

Dear Grown Man,

My girlfriends and I all love your blog. It’s nice to know that there still is a grown man out there, somewhere. My question for you is, how do you find him? The last time I told a guy that my friend would probably say “yes” if he asked her out for a drink, the thirty-four year old man-child answered, “Friendship is great, and finding someone to love is even better….but I’m happy being single now.” Now, if my girlfriend weren’t tall, blonde, beautiful, and intelligent, I might understand what he was saying. But as it is, I had no clue how to respond to his insanity. Grown man, what’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,

Camille

Ya Ya Sisterhood,

First, I’m glad you and the girlfriends are all reading the blog and liking it.  In my mind, I always pictured You’re A Grown Man being read by a gaggle of women on Chocotini Thursday.  For real though, thanks for being so nice.  On to your question(s)…

You’re not going to like this, Traveling Pants, but the fella who said “no” was right in doing so.

“Oh no he didn’t!”

Calm down ladies, have another cucumber sandwich.  The truth of the matter is this: When a Grown Man knows himself well enough to say no, even when it’s regarding a “tall, blonde, beautiful, intelligent, brain surgeon, mid-wife, spiritual healer, ex-convict” friend like you’re describing, he must really be honest. That man (we’ll call him Missed The Bus) can be trusted to say the honest thing – even when it’s unpopular. It’s clear by his response that his no means no and his yes means yes. This is, I’m sure you’ll agree, a rarity in the dating world.  And while I’m sorry that he didn’t jump on the opportunity to go on a nice date, I’d rather him say no then placate feelings.

One more thing. Camille’s friend (the aforementioned spiritual healer, ex-convict), I know that a “no” from a good man can feel as crappy as a “yes” from a shady one.  You’re worth many yeses – just keep on keepin’ on.

Eat, Pray, Love,

GM

I am (at least I try to be) a Grown Man, but I still have my dental braces on. Is there a problem in using non-neutral colors in my braces’ elastic ties?

-Igor

Igor (Pictured on the left. For real, that’s him, I got it off his Twitter account.),

Heck of a question my Brazilian friend!  The answer is two-fold, brace yourself (snicker):

First, your default dental posture needs to be neutral colored bands.  Teeth, like Milford Men (American joke referencing the television show Arrested Development), should be neither seen nor heard.  If you focus on drawing attention to your personality and unbelievable etiquette, people will naturally be drawn to your true colors.

Second, vaya Brazil!, vaya World Cup!, vaya three hour long tie-games!  This is a special time for you “other Football” people and one that deserves celebration.  As long as you can change out the bands pretty quickly should an occasion arise like, say, being at work, flaunt that green and yellow. However, the moment the World Cup ends, zip over to your ortodontista and get back to being a Grown Man.

Goooooooooooooooooooooooooal,

GM

Dear GM,

What is a Grown Man’s description of a Grown Woman?

-GW (hopefully)

GW (definitely),

A person who knows she’s a Grown Woman without a Grown Man telling her so.

-GM (sincerely)

As always, thanks for reading and commenting. You all make the site way more interesting than I ever could.  Until next week, keep asking those great questions!