Tag Archives: radio

listen to music.

15 Sep

On my way to work, I usually listen to news on the radio.  It’s a quick way for me to get the basics of the world on my 15 minute commute. Remember, Grown Men know the news.  However, my news station of choice has been raking me over the coals of guilt and shame this week during their twice a year pledge drive (though I’m starting to suspect it’s MUCH more often than that).  Some well meaning woman whom I’m totally sure is wearing a dog-hair cardigan and sensible khakis is softly berating me with statements like, “We provide quality news and entertainment to you year round – all we’re asking is for you to provide for us once a year. Is that too much to ask?”  Oh geez, I get it, I get it, I’ll give you my 20 bucks — just bring back your soothing and gentle presentation of the economic meltdown and multiple wars!

So, I’ve done what any good NPR listener would do this time of year and plugged in the iPod.  And yesterday, I found myself doing something very un-Morning Edition.  Instead of quietly driving, considering, and reflecting — I sang.  Oh heck yeah, I sang!  It was ugly and comical to those who caught a glimpse of me in the rear-view mirror but man, it felt great.  And the reason it felt great was because music is important and something that Grown Men tend to enjoy less and less of as they become older and more “mature.”

The truth is, music is primal.  We know this by looking at babies.  For example, take your average little fella who’s just learning how to stand.  I guarantee you that a majority of the time, when you turn on Single Ladies or some other classic but terrible dance song, that chap is going to start bouncing.  Then, if the song is particularly, wonderfully, bad (Telephone by Lady Gaga), he’s going to start smiling, clapping, and having a heck of a time.  Does he know the complexities of the lyrics (“Just a second, it’s my favorite song they gonna play. And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh?”)?  No, he has no idea what’s being said.  Does he enjoy the bold vocal arrangements and unique instrumentation found in modern… whatever. No.  All he knows is that this noise makes him feel good and he’s gotta dance his Pampers off.

Grown Men, you’ve got to put down the talk radio and listen to music more often.  Because music, even crappy music that you’re embarrassed to tell people you like (Madonna: The  Immaculate Collection) is one of the great forms of enjoyment we get in this life.  And, in our adult lives, we need as many outlets for pure, non goal oriented, relatively pointless happiness that we can find. The problem is, we get old (or at least, we think we get old) and those purely enjoyable activities get replaced with kinda fun, but sorta purposeful, but “it’s not that bad”, but “a little boring” acts — like email and catching up on the Tivo. 

Listening to music is one of the disciplines of our lives that must be practiced to keep us grounded, creative, peaceful, and well-rounded men.   Taking five minutes to lean back in a comfortable chair with The Beatles is probably more helpful than one more email, one more episode of Entourage, or another call returned.  Even if it’s a crappy artist that only you like (Creed), the fact that you enjoy it and can create space to partake in it is critical for your overall balance.

You’re a Grown Man, listen to music.

One more thing, please don’t assail me in the comments because I listen to NPR. Their political agenda is unimportant to me and they don’t yell, which is key at 8am.

care about the environment.

11 Jun

I have a theory that once-a-week the trash man puts a gigantic “We-Cycle” magnet over the “Kill Everything” logo that’s usually on the side of his truck. Then, he drives around and picks up the little blue bins of faithfully sorted cans and newspapers and heads directly for – wait for it – the dump. I am crazy, I admit it, but tell me you haven’t considered that?

However, I keep sorting those recyclables, taking them out to the curb (usually when I hear the truck down the street), and feeling the distinct sense of pride that maybe, just maybe, a baby seal won’t choke to death on my Dogfish Head bottle.

Very few issues have polarized the great Grown Men I’ve known more than the environment. I’ve found that there are three categories of environmentalism:

The Rush to Judgements: “All this greenhouse talk is just Chicken Little nonsense! I’ll feed a dolphin styrofoam if I want to!”

The Composters: “We must do everything in our power to address and fix The Inconvenient Truth that human beings are killing the planet! Where’s your cloth shopping bag?!”

Yet many men, a majority in fact, don’t give the environment a second thought, I call them…

The Blank Slates: “Oh my god, bro, we have to do this – Mustache May is going to be SICK!”

Well done guys.

As a side note, all three of these categories of men agree that 1.7 million gallons of BP oil a day into the Gulf of Mexico probably isn’t good for the complexion of turtles. Moving on…

This rest of this post is for the Blank Slates. Why? Because the Rush’s and the Composters have placed such a firmly cemented ideological flag that they can’t be spoken to about this topic. But the Blank Slates, oh the dear, sweet, Blank Slates, those guys will believe anything! “Bro, that girl’s checking you out!” “Bro, I bet you can hit the pool if you jump!” “Bro, that Chocolate Axe is tiiiight!”

Blank Slates, let’s establish the bottom line – the environment is real. How do we know that? Because you’re breathing, eating fruit (loops), and alive. Good, so that’s out of the way. And gentlemen, it’s probably a good idea for you to do everything you can to be a good steward of the environment.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Grown Bro – what the hell’s a steward?”

I’m so sorry. A steward is someone who maintains, manages, and takes care of something. For instance, when you go home from college for a weekend and yell for your mom to bring you “grape soda and Funyuns – ASAP!”, that’s her being a steward to you. When you have to take attendance at your chapter meetings, that’s you being a steward to your “sweet as hell fraternity”. I’ll put it more simply – steward = helper.

Here’s the bottom line: Help out the environment. Maybe it needs it and The Composters are right, maybe The Rush’s are spot-on and we don’t understand the regenerative powers of our planet and all our Y2K-ness just comical. Either way, if you have an option to recycle, why not do it? Maybe my aforementioned conspiracy theory is correct, but maybe it’s actually being recycled – what difference does it make to you? Let’s error on the side of being helpful and not ideological.

Plus, Grown Women will think you’re super in-touch with yourself and enlightened – which can’t hurt your chances.

don’t call radio shows.

28 Mar

While driving home tonight, I heard a man call in to the Delilah show.

[record scratch]

Hold on, here’s why I was listening to Delilah. It’s the number one place, in the entire world, to laugh at crazy people. Seriously, I defy you to make it 5 minutes without yelling at your radio.

Back to the story.

This man called in, was crying about his lady friend of six months who had left him, and requested that Delilah play him “something to make [him] feel better”.

It is never okay to call in a radio show. You may call in if your going to win something awesome (concert tickets, BBQ grill, vacation, etc.). But if you’re calling to rant about the man or get some on-air love therapy, you must stop. Find someone who genuinely cares about your opinions to listen – not some faceless stranger who identifies you as “Crying in Cleveland”.

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