it’s okay to hug/be hugged by other grown men.

I work with a guy who cringes every time I try giving him a hug. Granted, I’m hugging him because I take great joy in his public discomfort, but that’s beside the point. The question is, why have guys gotten so weird about hugging?

Grown Man, I don’t want everyone around me to think I’m gay!

First, nobody thinks that and, furthermore, why would you think that? Really, stop and ponder this. If you saw two guys in a quick embrace, would you think, “They’re doin’ it.” Nope. Just like you wouldn’t think that when you give a quick hug to your grandma – oh god, nauseous, why did I write that?

But, let’s say for the sake of argument that you do feel a little something, a subtle warmth by the embrace of another man. Well congratulations, you may be learning something new about yourself and should gladly accept hugs at all turns.

Grown Men, a hug is a very informal way of saying, “I care about you and I’m happy to see you.” 95% of the time, a handshake is the best way of physical communication between guys, but every now and again we need to say something else, something more meaningful, something that communicates that we don’t give a damn what the world thinks – we’re hugging it out, bitch.

Here’s some quick rules for a proper platonic hug:

1- Give it a count of 3-Mississippi or less. More than that arouses ulterior motives.
2- Talking while hugging is a must. Hugging without talking is cuddling. Say things like, “Good to see you, you old [3 Mississippi, hug is over] bastard.”
3- Men think they have to hit on the back during the hug, this is not true. However, DON’T RUB! You know why.
4- Don’t hug in the workplace unless it makes the other guy overly uncomfortable – in which case enjoy the hell out of that joke and send him this post.