Tag Archives: local

go to a barbershop, not a salon.

4 Jun

Gentlemen, we’re lost in the woods. We’re stuck in a confusing land of exfoliation, mani-pedi’s, “product”, manscaping, cuticle therapy, and $50 hair cuts – it’s time to escape.

In all likelihood, you go to a salon. Your salon probably has one of those über trendy names that means nothing and is, inevitably, followed by a grammatically incorrect period. avenue rust. salon randy. sheer 613. Furthermore, your salon makes you set an appointment for a “styling”, makes you get your hair washed beforehand (uncomfortable and affair-ish), and puts you square in the middle of a conversation between stylists regarding the cuteness of Justin Bieber. Men, your salon is no place for a Grown Man.

But Grown Man, I have a specific hair style that only my stylist can do!

Simple rule: If your cute quiff can’t be maintained an 80-year-old WWII veteran with scissors, a straight edge, and grizzled old-dude fingers – it’s not a haircut fit for a man. Believe me when I say this, women like men who look normal. They’re not looking for faux-hawks, they’re looking for an adult.

Here’s what you need to be looking for as you switch from boutique to barber:

1- Find a random barber in a remote corner of your town. If that place looks somewhat unkempt on the outside and you’re not 100% comfortable leaving your car out of sight, you’re in the zone.

2- No chain hair places. Many chains offer cheap haircuts and will have you “in and out in 15 minutes”. However, a cheap and quick haircut usually looks like, well, a cheap and quick haircut.

3- A good barber can do two haircuts: “high on the sides” (flat-top) and “a little off the ears” (George Clooney). Your barber won’t ask what you want, he’ll cut what you need. Relinquish your type-a-ness (gross) and let the guy work.

4- They don’t take appointments, credit cards, or women. All of these things in their own way are fantastic (and one of them smells good), but none of them have any business in a barber shop.

5- The shop shouldn’t have a name other than [insert name]’s Barber Shop. They do this because a man puts his name on something he loves. Think of it this way, when we’re little and we get a Red Flyer Wagon, we flip it over and scrawl Grown Man on the bottom. When we get married, we totally annoy our wives by asking them to spend five years changing social security cards and drivers licenses just so we can see our name attached to someone we love. A barber shop is a man’s business and livelihood, he cares about it and wants you to know that you can expect a level quality that could only come from his name being on the door.

Grown Men, find a local barber, bring cash, and enjoy updating your look. They’ll remember your name, give you a respectable haircut, and will never – EVER – talk about Justin Bieber.

Enjoy the weekend, and thank you for reading and commenting.

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