be quiet.

30 Jan

One of the phrases that drives me bananas during the course of day-to-day conversationis…  Well, actually I have to set it up properly to have the full effect.  Here’s the setup:

Manager:  Sales are down – way down.  Skippy, we’ve got to come up with some exciting new marketing strategy.  How about hiring a homeless guy to hold a sign? It’ll be perfect!

You (Skippy): Great idea, Mr. Manager.  I’ll head down to the shelter.

Manager: Hazaa!  [HERE COMES THE PHRASE I HATE] So like I said, we’ll hire a homeless guy to hold the sign. It’ll be perfect!

You (Skippy): Right, that’s what we just… anyhow, great.

Here’s the issue gentlemen: you talk too much.  It’s clear when guys use phrases like, “So like I said…” to not only say something, but also introduce the fact that they’re going to say it again.  Unnecessary.  Any man worth his weight in bow-ties needs to have the confidence to know that when they speak, they’re heard.  And they need to have the courage to know that if they don’t have anything to say, the world won’t stop, and they’ll still be significant.  Speaking more doesn’t equate to being more – it equates to lack of temperance.

Be quiet. Here’s why:

1- It gives you time to listen.  The coolest men ever are the ones that lean back, make eye contact, and listen to what you’re saying.  They don’t do that thing where they kind of pre-breathe/start a word as a verbal cue, indicating that it’s time for them to talk.  They just listen, and they communicate your value to you by not stepping over what you’re saying.  Additionally, they are smarter because they up the ratio of importing information to exporting yada yada yada.

2- You’ll have a voice when you do speak. As a man, when you say something, you want to be heard.  It makes you feel valued, and that, in turn, helps out with ye olde pride.  When you talk all the time, people tend to average out the time they listen to you and catch every ninth monologue. You don’t want this.  You want it all to count.  Be disciplined.

3- It’s cool.  Don Draper, Clint Eastwood, 007.

So like I said, be quiet.  I promise you, it’ll work out in your favor.

You’re a Grown Man, be quiet.

5 Responses to “be quiet.”

  1. Tony 30 January 2012 at 9:23 am #

    “Man has two ears and one mouth, so he should spend twice as much time listening as he does speaking.”

    The downside to this is – like you point out – having to deal with people who feel a need to talk about the same thing over and over again. And, sadly, this extended to my last partner, who felt a need to discuss the same subjects and ask me about the same things over and over again.

    Grown man, am I less of a man for expecting the grown female to follow the same rules?

  2. Shelly Gregory 30 January 2012 at 11:07 am #

    I am so excited to receive this new post!!!! It’s such VALUABLE direction, as always! I have grown sons that are still learning to be very coiffed and intelligent men. They absorb great MAN advice. I will be passing this on. (BTW–they do not mind receiving the info via “mom”. They actually respect it just as much.)

    I would love to hear your response to the question from the comment from Tony. As a woman, I’ve learned, it’s just as important. Of course, it took me awhile to learn but I’m a so happy to have done so.

  3. golfmike304 31 January 2012 at 9:24 am #

    Thanks so much for this. I am one that has had to learn this just to keep a relationship with my boys (grown men now) One is married with a baby the other just married this last summer. I have a great relationship with them. I truly feel it was when I respected their input and ideas as a man that they respected mine.

    Thanks so much for putting is so well. I will be following your blogs. Listening!

  4. Doug Geiger 26 April 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    Don’t let this site die! What a great idea for a site! Get guest posts or something…but it has been too long. You have a good thing going on here!

    • Daniel 15 November 2012 at 4:43 pm #

      So would a “real man” ever suggest that a homeless person should be used as a walking advertisement board? I know this was just an example, but…

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