wear a watch.

10 Aug

That’s it, I’m throwing in the towel…I literally can’t take this anymore.  For the last week, I’ve been writing about feelings, weddings, love, relational dynamics, et cetera, et cetera – and I’m going crazy.  I’m a sensitive man, but if I spend one more moment trying to wrap my head around the etiquette and emotions of a wedding, I’m going to cry (irony?).  So today, we’re gonna rock this post like it’s March of 2010 and I’m going to get hella-specific about one issue.

You’re a Grown Man, wear a watch.

But Grown Man, I have a phone that gives me the time!  And it’s not just any phone, it’s a freakin’ jail broken iPhone 4 – sucka!

Here’s why you shouldn’t be using your phone as your primary time keeper.  It’s just not polite, when sitting with a person, to slyly pull out your brick-of-an-iDroidBerry, push a button, and check the time.  Everything about that transaction screams of you not giving a crap about the conversation.  And though that may be true, is not the way a man presents himself.  For real though, I trust that you’re only checking the time, it just appears as though you’re glancing at the recent Words with Friends updates.  Oh my god, I can’t believe the word PacManFever was accepted!

Alright, so hopefully you get the point that your phone isn’t your watch.  But why should Grown Men wear watches at all?  There are a few reasons:

-Grown Men are punctual. There will be a full post about this later in the week, so I’m not going to go into it.  For now I will just leave you with this little adage: Early is on time, on time is late. That just happened.

-Watches project confidence. A watch has a very subconscious effect on the people who see it.  There’s something about the small accent that tells people you value punctuality and fashion.  Conversely, seeing a man without a watch doesn’t scream of immaturity, but it doesn’t help your cause.  Without a watch, you get closer to confidence-neutral, which won’t bode well with potential lady-friends, colleagues, or other Grown Men.

-They look cool. The “Don Draper” factor can’t be ignored. And, as there are very few acceptable pieces of jewelry that a man can wear (cuff links, cool tie clip, wedding ring, glasses, that’s it), a watch is a small exclamation point on a well dressed fella.  While I’ll leave it up to you to determine what’s classy and what’s not, I strongly suggest, nay, demand that you pick a watch that’s timeless (snicker) and appropriate.  Bright yellow bands and Mickey Mouse are out.  Here’s a rule: Picture your watch on Clint Eastwood.  If if looks cool on him, it’s a winner.

And that, my good men, is the end of the post!  No feelings, no love, just good old fashion advice and judgment.  That felt good.

Grown Men, synchronize Swatches!

25 Responses to “wear a watch.”

  1. Amy 10 August 2010 at 10:36 am #

    “And, as there are very few acceptable pieces of jewelry that a man can wear”
    So very true! My husband loves watches and has quite a few nice ones. It’s a statement piece, but it’s not too flashy and it’s functional. Bracelets on men kinda skeeve me out, but a watch is classy.

    However, Clint Eastwood tells time by squinting at the horizon with his piercing, sun-bleached eyes. Plus, if he is ever late, who’s gonna call him on it?

    • You're a Grown Man 11 August 2010 at 11:19 am #

      I really think the only bracelet a dude can wear is one of those Medical bracelets. But even then, it’s kinda “skeevie”. I’m glad your husband knows when to say when – he sounds like a good dude.

      And, great freaking call with Clint Eastwood. I’d love to counter-joke with you, but your comment was just so funny I have nothing. Well done.

      • Amy 11 August 2010 at 1:29 pm #

        Aw, thanks, GM!

  2. Kris Arruda 10 August 2010 at 10:48 am #

    Everything looks cool on Clint.

    Agreed. My weapon of choice is an Speedmaster. Omega Speedmaster.

    • You're a Grown Man 11 August 2010 at 11:19 am #

      Holy cow, man. I just looked up that watch – it’s beautiful! Nice work, Clint Arruda.

  3. Travis 10 August 2010 at 10:52 am #

    Let the watch shopping begin! Great simple thought. Thanks

  4. Jason Blair 10 August 2010 at 11:11 am #

    I have mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, it’s rude to keep checking your cell phone in the middle of a conversation. On the other hand, it’s equally rude to look at your watch in the middle of a conversation.

    I’m not opposed to watches, but if I didn’t use my cell phone, I’d choose a fine pocket watch. They’re stylish and traditional.

    • You're a Grown Man 11 August 2010 at 11:27 am #

      I hear what you’re saying, and I see your point that checking anything isn’t really good practice. I think that the watch is the lesser of all evils – but maybe it’s just better to be present with people and not be so freaked out about time?

      Also, pocket watches are fantastic. They’ll go well with your top-hat and monocle.

  5. Fashionably Late 10 August 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    Grown Man,

    Dont tell me what to do.

    • You're a Grown Man 11 August 2010 at 11:29 am #

      If I ever invite you to a party (which I wouldn’t) and you show up late (which you would), I will begin punching* you in the throat (which would hurt).

      *Grown Men shouldn’t punch each other, unless they know the person who just left a comment on their blog and feel strongly that they should get a left-hook to the jugular.

  6. QueenPinky 10 August 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    I love watches. They are very attractive on a man, and it makes me feel that a man wearing it is mature (i know thats not always true but i can dream).

  7. Tony 10 August 2010 at 1:37 pm #

    Jason, you obviously haven’t mastered the art of the subtle wristwatch glance. It is possible, but, like good sleight-of-hand, it takes a lot of practice. And, of course, can only be done in a short-sleeved shirt. Obviously, the more people that are around you, the harder it gets, but it’s a bloody useful thing to master.

    • You're a Grown Man 11 August 2010 at 11:32 am #

      You know what I do? When I’m in a meeting, I turn my watch so that it’s wresting on the side of my wrist. Then, when I fold my hands, the watch face is facing me and all I need is a quick eye motion. It’s almost 100% effective.

      Good call, Tony. “Bloody useful” indeed.

      • Tony 12 August 2010 at 6:49 am #

        There’s an even better variant on this; if your watch (like most) is on the outside of your wrist, you can adopt an elbow-on-the table-arm-flat-across stance, that, when doubled with a hand rubbing the chin and/or a puzzled expression, comes across as interest and thought – when, in fact, you’re merely positioning yourself to work out how long you have to sit in this room.

        To be honest, I think I’m making it sound more awkward than it actually is, but it works.

  8. Ian 13 August 2010 at 10:54 am #

    Your adage is something I have lived by since my father (a GM and musician by profession) told me that as a quote to live by when I began school. Good to see the word spread!

  9. Chris 26 August 2010 at 4:21 pm #

    I wear a Casio G-Shock. It’s water-resist to 200M (that’s much deeper than any body of water I’m getting in), solar powered (I guess, technically, it’s “solar charged” and battery powered; battery shows full strength still after six year) and weighty. It also doubles as a self-defense weapon when my friends have tried to hit me (I probably always deserved it) and pulled my hand up to block and they hit my wrist. When knuckles connect to this watch people wince. It’s silver with a metal band so it looks good with casual or dress clothes.

    And it updates the time with the atomic clock. So no excuse to be later or not know the precise time.

  10. Diogenes 26 November 2013 at 11:15 am #

    Watches are obsolete. They are overpriced and a poor investment. When I see someone with an expensive watch, I realize that they are insecure, need attention and need to follow trends and overpay for brands to try and impress people. Much like people who drive Lexus, BMW, Mercedes and now, the new “fashion” trend, Audi. I make very good money and won’t EVER buy a watch. I will save that money for my retirement and my kids. I have several watches that were given to me as gifts and they sit in a box in my closet. Consumerist automatons and trend following sheep irritate me. Flip up hairdo, north face jacket over Aeropostale shirt, overpriced watch and overpriced car = lame.

    • OneTwoThreeFourFive 24 January 2014 at 2:56 pm #

      Diogenes eh? Fitting.

      I bet you’re fun at parties.


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