Ask a Grown Man: Vol. VI

22 Jul

“Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends!

In one of your posts, you said that grown men should not call radio shows.  Does this stand on posting comments to blogs like yours?
-Brian Strickland

Life of Brian,

You’ve asked a fine question, my good man. Let me first say this – for real, thanks for reading through the old posts where I was trite, poorly edited, and not really focused on good content (Stop Ice Skating?!).  And, while I never go back and edit a post, I’d give my left – foot – to have another crack at Buy a Suit and Open Her Door. Oh well.  Like sand through an hour-glass, these are the days of our lives.

Back to your question.  I still maintain that calling radio shows is usually a poor decision.  In rare cases of great contests, it’s okay.  But for the most part, we use radio shows to throw out information in a non-relational way that really doesn’t move the ball forward.  And, while commenting on blogs could be viewed the same way, there’s a part of me that has to squelch the curmudgeonly old man inside and yield to a new way of communicating. For instance, yesterday’s Know How to Cook post yielded comments that were chock-full of good discussion, helpful resources, a few laughs, and even a bit of dissension.

There is a line, however.  This line is crossed when we begin to argue with each other and hide behind the anonymity that only the internet can provide.  At that point, there’s nothing that can replace a hearty handshake, a cup of coffee, and a thorough discussion on why men must Stop Wearing Skinny Jeans.  As the writer of this here blog, I have a responsibility to mind the funny/helpful vs. obnoxious/hurtful line.  As commenters and Grown Men, we should always be checking our motivations.

Your comments are welcome,

How/when did you know you had achieved “grown man” status?


Oh boy, do I want to be funny right now.  I want my answer to be, “I knew I was a Grown Man the first time I tipped my hat to a lady while riding a horse” or “I knew I was a Grown Man when Tommy Lee Jones and Robert Duvall released a joint statement affirming that the testosterone-torch was now mine to carry.”  Sadly though, none of those answers are true.

The truth is, I achieve Grown Man status every day when I wake up and say to myself, “Today, I’m going to try hard to be a better man.”  I achieve Grown Man status when I make an extra effort to learn something new, focus on the world around me (and not me), practice a dying form of etiquette, or simply show kindness.  Conversely, there are many times when I fall short and don’t feel very good about the guy I’m being.  However, it’s in those moments that I try to remember that being a Grown Man isn’t about being perfect, it’s about trying – hard – everyday to up the bar for myself and the world that I live in.

Grown Man (before The Postman)

Okay, I’d like to be funny one more time before the post ends.  “I knew I was a Grown Man when I killed a tatonka and ate its still beating heart.”

Good question, Jodi,
GM (or at least trying)

Thank you for reading and being supportive of this Grown Man.  Until next week, keep asking those great questions…

12 Responses to “Ask a Grown Man: Vol. VI”

  1. Tom 22 July 2010 at 11:54 am #

    No matter the group in which I’m classified at any given time – political affiliation, Happy Hour chums or card-carrying member of this Family of Men – I invariably have a moment when I’m embarrassed for my fellow travelers. On those occasions when I’m ashamed to be male, either by my actions or as an unindicted co-conspirator, I hereafter will invoke your good graces. What a relief to be in the presence of such a rational voice, a voice that says, “Fear not, you misguided manboy. Your gender doesn’t define you; it’s the other way around, chowderhead.” In the online cacophony of poor advice and misinformation, communication that offers little real interaction, and an alarming dearth of civility, you, sir, are a clarion call. Before I discovered this site, my road to Grown Manhood was littered with self-help books and Post-Its, none of which prevented me from falling flat on my bearded face. I clearly can lighten my load (and brighten my prospects) by replacing them all with your simple mantra of “Today, I’m going to try hard to be a better man.” ’nuff said, indeed.

  2. Pop 22 July 2010 at 12:55 pm #

    While not wearing skinny jeans and cooking can help one achieve GM status, true GMs are never content with simply becoming a GM but striving to be a better GM everyday, as you so eloquently stated.

  3. Tom 22 July 2010 at 12:59 pm #

    And if you think of it, could you please append some tatonka-heart recipes to the “know how to cook” entry?

  4. Heather 22 July 2010 at 3:02 pm #

    There is a line, however. This line is crossed when we begin to argue with each other and hide behind the anonymity that only the internet can provide.

    This is very good. Sharing our views on posts is healthy, but the blog post comments section is not the forum for public debate. Healthy debates should take place between people ‘grown up’ enough to know when to put the other person’s feelings first, and, I think, in person–where facial expressions and gestures add rounded tones to what’s being said. Connotation is nearly impossible to decipher online very often.

    men must stop wearing skinny jeans

    Amen and amen!


    • You're a Grown Man 23 July 2010 at 12:04 am #

      Thanks for double Amen-ing and the excellent use of the phrase “rounded tones”. I’ve never heard that before. You’re awesome, Heather.

  5. jackieomedia 22 July 2010 at 3:58 pm #

    Love your responses GM. P.S. While I assume that “Life of Brian” was a Monty Python reference, did you know it was also an episode of “My So-Called Life”? (Loved that show!)

    • You're a Grown Man 23 July 2010 at 12:12 am #

      Jackie O.,

      Great catch on the “Life of Brian” reference! And I can proudly and unequivocally say that no, it wasn’t meant to be a “My So-Called Life” joke as well. I’m guessing you were an Angela Chase fan? No no, it was probably Jordan – yep, that’s it. Oh man, was he brooding and dreamy.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, you’re the best.

      • jackieomedia 25 July 2010 at 11:27 am #

        Angela, Jordan, Rayanne, Ricky…love & miss ’em all.

  6. lookingforsomethingtofind 24 July 2010 at 3:34 am #

    I agree with this post (save for the fact I am one of the few people who liked the Postman) I do think there should be an amendment for sports radio shows, call ins are fine, since it’s no too serious a topic and more about fun to begin with.

    Related to the old blog post thing, I have a theory if that most of us were given a time machine and told to visit ourselves a few years ago, we’d probably cringe more than a few times. Also ice skating is fun.

  7. Jameson 29 July 2010 at 2:12 pm #

    I for one would not be disappointed with you if you did take another – more in-depth – run at “Buy A Suit.” Is it against Grown Man rules to revisit topics when you have more information?

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