Ask a Grown Man: Vol. II

24 Jun

Sit back, relax, here we go…

Dear Grown Man,

My girlfriends and I all love your blog. It’s nice to know that there still is a grown man out there, somewhere. My question for you is, how do you find him? The last time I told a guy that my friend would probably say “yes” if he asked her out for a drink, the thirty-four year old man-child answered, “Friendship is great, and finding someone to love is even better….but I’m happy being single now.” Now, if my girlfriend weren’t tall, blonde, beautiful, and intelligent, I might understand what he was saying. But as it is, I had no clue how to respond to his insanity. Grown man, what’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,

Camille

Ya Ya Sisterhood,

First, I’m glad you and the girlfriends are all reading the blog and liking it.  In my mind, I always pictured You’re A Grown Man being read by a gaggle of women on Chocotini Thursday.  For real though, thanks for being so nice.  On to your question(s)…

You’re not going to like this, Traveling Pants, but the fella who said “no” was right in doing so.

“Oh no he didn’t!”

Calm down ladies, have another cucumber sandwich.  The truth of the matter is this: When a Grown Man knows himself well enough to say no, even when it’s regarding a “tall, blonde, beautiful, intelligent, brain surgeon, mid-wife, spiritual healer, ex-convict” friend like you’re describing, he must really be honest. That man (we’ll call him Missed The Bus) can be trusted to say the honest thing – even when it’s unpopular. It’s clear by his response that his no means no and his yes means yes. This is, I’m sure you’ll agree, a rarity in the dating world.  And while I’m sorry that he didn’t jump on the opportunity to go on a nice date, I’d rather him say no then placate feelings.

One more thing. Camille’s friend (the aforementioned spiritual healer, ex-convict), I know that a “no” from a good man can feel as crappy as a “yes” from a shady one.  You’re worth many yeses – just keep on keepin’ on.

Eat, Pray, Love,

GM

I am (at least I try to be) a Grown Man, but I still have my dental braces on. Is there a problem in using non-neutral colors in my braces’ elastic ties?

-Igor

Igor (Pictured on the left. For real, that’s him, I got it off his Twitter account.),

Heck of a question my Brazilian friend!  The answer is two-fold, brace yourself (snicker):

First, your default dental posture needs to be neutral colored bands.  Teeth, like Milford Men (American joke referencing the television show Arrested Development), should be neither seen nor heard.  If you focus on drawing attention to your personality and unbelievable etiquette, people will naturally be drawn to your true colors.

Second, vaya Brazil!, vaya World Cup!, vaya three hour long tie-games!  This is a special time for you “other Football” people and one that deserves celebration.  As long as you can change out the bands pretty quickly should an occasion arise like, say, being at work, flaunt that green and yellow. However, the moment the World Cup ends, zip over to your ortodontista and get back to being a Grown Man.

Goooooooooooooooooooooooooal,

GM

Dear GM,

What is a Grown Man’s description of a Grown Woman?

-GW (hopefully)

GW (definitely),

A person who knows she’s a Grown Woman without a Grown Man telling her so.

-GM (sincerely)

As always, thanks for reading and commenting. You all make the site way more interesting than I ever could.  Until next week, keep asking those great questions!

10 Responses to “Ask a Grown Man: Vol. II”

  1. Mel 24 June 2010 at 12:41 pm #

    The answer to the last one can obviously be found here 🙂
    http://melissamalka.com/2010/05/you-are-a-grown-woman/
    And here!
    http://melissamalka.com/2010/06/9-more-tips-on-being-a-grown-woman/

    • You're a Grown Man 24 June 2010 at 10:08 pm #

      Shameless plug, Mel… but I love it! You should keep writing those, I bet people will read the heck out of them.

      Thanks for reading and using emoticons in your comment.

      Word up,
      GM

  2. Heather 24 June 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    More great advice. I like that Camille’s guy said ‘no.’ Does the fact that she was tall, blonde, beautiful and intelligent make his decision wrong? What if she’d been short, brunette, a little chubby and generous instead? Would that woman be any less a woman a grown man could fall in love with?

    mmm… cucumber sandwiches…

    • You're a Grown Man 24 June 2010 at 10:16 pm #

      Yeah, I know what you’re saying. However, I think Camille’s sweet and was just saying that her friend is awesome and her beauty is icing on the cake. I get the vibe from her that even if her friend was hobbit-ish and frightening, she’d still have not understood why the fella said no. Who knows, maybe you’re right.

      In any event, you’ve got an exceptional point. All women are worth great affection – no matter what shell they’re working with.

  3. Igor Felipe 24 June 2010 at 6:30 pm #

    thank you for the answer grown man. 😀

    • You're a Grown Man 24 June 2010 at 10:18 pm #

      You’re welcome! And thank you for the picture, Igor! You’re a good dude and I really enjoyed getting to read and answer your question.

      Remember, it’s still important to floss with braces. Food gets stuck behind those bands and BAM, you’ve got cavities. That’s just a freebie.

      Gooooooooooooal,
      GM

  4. etcher101 25 June 2010 at 1:04 am #

    Grown Man…you are my hero!

    Not only have you opened a window into the 10% club (a good 90% are not of your GM standards…) but I must say, you have inspired me. Not only am I blogging about my creativity (I was the one that carved the eggs…), I’ve added a little “observation” into the mix!! All because of you!!

    You make the world a better place, Grown Man!!

    Etcher

    http://etcher101.wordpress.com/

  5. Allen 25 June 2010 at 9:02 pm #

    Just a note, here… “vaya” is a spanish word, not a portuguese one. A brazillian would say “vai”.

  6. lookingforsomethingtofind 26 June 2010 at 11:20 pm #

    I actually am a guy, who likes being single for periods of time. I think a guy needs time being single at some points to figure himself out, and what he really wants. Sometimes it’s not just about beauty, intelligence or all that, it’s a matching of temperaments, and it can take time to figure out, what type of temperament a person really wants or even has, soul searching and such.

  7. Anas Shafqat 30 June 2010 at 6:51 pm #

    Your blog is awesome :] I would sure come to you for advice, if i get into sum problem :p

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