quit wearing girl jeans.

30 Mar

The current, alarming, trend of fashion jeans for men has prompted me to speak out. This has gone too far.

Here are some basic rules on dungarees:

1- Your jeans may not have any printing, fancy embroidering, or bedazzling. The only embellishment allowed is the gold Levi’s thread.

2- Your jeans should be a regular color. If you want them faded in the knees or ripped in the pockets, wear them for 3 years.

3- You may not wear girl jeans.

“But they just FIT me better!”

I don’t care. You may only wear skinny jeans when, and only when, they begin selling them at your local Sears men’s department or tractor store. The moment you step foot into the sweet-smelling, pastel, lady land of Forever XXI or other such fem-store, you need to turn around. I truly am sorry that your petite bottom is better accented by a size 4 stonewashed pair of Jordache. Hold on, no I’m not. You’re a guy, your butt is unimportant.

24 Responses to “quit wearing girl jeans.”

  1. derektigges 30 March 2010 at 9:23 am #

    Hahahaha… brilliant! You are so right 🙂

    A real man should be wearing masculine jeans, a bit tapered is fine, but not too much. And let’s not forget, skinny jeans hurt the crown jewels.

    http://derektigges.wordpress.com/category/fashion/

  2. thoughtsappear 30 March 2010 at 9:40 am #

    I totally agree. Great post!

  3. Cassandra 3 June 2010 at 4:05 am #

    LOL, oh goodness. This horrified woman gives you a hearty THANK YOU from the bottom of her heart.

    The only thing worse than skinny jeans on men, are the ultra-low V necks so many of them are sporting these days. That is the stuff that freakish, effeminate nightmares are made of.

    Where have all the men gone?! Thank you for trying to bring them back… 😀

    I want my jeans back!!!

  4. Tony 4 June 2010 at 6:00 pm #

    I’ve only ever tried on girl’s jeans once, as a laugh, after far too much scotch. Needless to say, they really hurt my nuts; don’t know how so many ‘guys’ deal with it on a daily basis, short of being castrated first.

    Incidentally, the grown woman in my life once told me a story about a guy she used to date who took longer to get ready to go out than she did – to the point where she used to have to talc his legs and pull his jeans on for him while he lay on the bed. If that ain’t the antithesis of manly, I don’t know what is.

  5. George Archer 9 March 2013 at 7:36 am #

    Men’s jeans are simple but if we get the trendy one then we could look fashionable. Along with it if we wear a good pair of shoes which would have a match with the jeans then it enhance the beauty of jeans.

    Jeans Online Shopping

  6. tu 25 December 2013 at 7:07 pm #

    Bliżej historii sprawdzian

  7. Claudio 25 March 2014 at 5:38 am #

    You ought to be a part of a contest for one of the most
    useful blogs on the web. I’m going to recommend this web site!

  8. Garnet 25 March 2014 at 6:36 am #

    I think this is one of the such a lot important information for me.
    And i am happy reading your article. However wanna statement
    on few common issues, The site style is great, the articles is in point of fact great : D.

    Excellent process, cheers

  9. cac game hot nhat 26 March 2014 at 7:31 am #

    I constantly emailed this website post page to all my contacts, since if like to read it then
    my contacts will too.

  10. Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your web site, how
    could i subscribe for a blog site? The account helped me a appropriate deal.
    I have been a little bit familiar of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea

  11. các game hay nhất cho android 26 March 2014 at 7:34 am #

    We absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s
    to be just what I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content for yourself?
    I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a number of
    the subjects you write related to here.
    Again, awesome web site!

  12. tai game ai la trieu phu cho android 26 March 2014 at 8:01 am #

    Hi there to all, it’s truly a fastidious for me to visit this web
    site, it includes valuable Information.

  13. tai game Bejeweled 2 cho android 26 March 2014 at 10:10 am #

    What’s up, just wanted to say, I loved this post.
    It was practical. Keep on posting!

  14. 3 Cay 27 March 2014 at 4:28 am #

    I really love your site.. Great colors & theme.

    Did you create this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m looking to create my own personal site and
    want to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is named.
    Appreciate it!

  15. danh tien len mien nam online 27 March 2014 at 4:48 am #

    What’s up, I want to subscribe for this website to get hottest updates, thus where can i do it please
    help.

  16. http://afcolor.info 28 March 2014 at 1:18 am #

    Hi there! This article could not be written much
    better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He always kept talking about this. I am going to forward this post to
    him. Pretty sure he’s going to have a very good read. Thanks for
    sharing!

  17. choi 3 cay online 5 April 2014 at 8:16 am #

    Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed!

    Extremely useful info specially the last part 🙂 I care for such info a lot.
    I was looking for this particular information for a long time.
    Thank you and good luck.

  18. touch screen mobile games 14 April 2014 at 2:43 pm #

    It’s an remarkable piece of writing for all the internet viewers; they will take advantage from it I am sure.

  19. tai game danh bai tren mang 29 April 2014 at 12:38 am #

    Hurrah! After all I got a webpage from where I
    be able to in fact obtain helpful data regarding my study and
    knowledge.

  20. choi danh bai online tren may tinh 29 April 2014 at 12:46 am #

    Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote
    the book in it or something. I think that you can do with
    some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that,
    this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be
    back.

  21. Femdom Tube 10 May 2014 at 5:18 am #

    Ahaa, its pleasant conversation regarding this paragraph here
    at this website, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  22. clumsy ninja hack.rar 26 May 2014 at 9:53 am #

    This design is wicked! You definitely know how
    to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost
    moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful
    job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Ask a Grown Man: Vol. VI « you're a grown man - 22 July 2010

    […] that can replace a hearty hand shake, a cup of coffee, and a thorough discussion on why men must stop wearing skinny jeans.  As the writer of this here blog, I have a responsibility to mind the funny/helpful vs. […]

  2. Ask a Grown Man: Vol. XV | You're A Grown Man - 24 June 2013

    […] to transform every man into some idealized version of masculinity.  I railed against v-necks, skinny jeans, not carrying cash, and basically every fad/fashion that wasn’t timeless.  And while this was, […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: